How to Write Compelling Family Stories

Transcript:

Host (Heather Haunert):
Hi everyone, and welcome to The Family Treehouse, a podcast series brought to you by Storied, where I chat with people who have a passion for genealogy, storytelling, or both. I’m your host, Heather Haunert, and today I am very excited to chat with our guest, Annette Gendler.

She is the author of a fantastic book that I just adore called How to Write Compelling Stories from Family History. We’ll chat with her about that today. Welcome, Annette, to the show.

Guest (Annette Gendler):
Hi Heather, thanks for having me. I’m very excited to get to chat with you today.

Annette’s Background

Host:
Why don’t you start, Annette, by telling us a little bit about your background and how you got started with family history and writing your family stories?

Annette:
Sure. For me, it really began with a trip to the Czech Republic, to my grandparents’ hometown, in 2002. I had not been there before, and that trip—you could say—changed my life.

I always warn people, or encourage them: if you start digging into your family history, it can change your life in ways you won’t foresee. Some people think about discovering secrets or things they didn’t know—which, of course, inevitably we all do—but it’s not just about that.

For me, when I was in my grandparents’ hometown, I felt so many undercurrents. I felt like I had been there before—which, of course, I hadn’t. I wanted to find out the story there. My grandmother had been a good storyteller and was my main conduit.

She and my grandfather lived in that town as young adults and began raising a family there—until they were deported right after World War II. You hear stories from your grandparents, but that doesn’t mean you can actually put it all together. It’s one thing to know anecdotes; it’s another to really know what happened.

Thankfully, my grandfather left a set of typed memoirs on thin onion skin paper. He typed those up shortly before he passed away in the early 1960s. It wasn’t finished, but there was a chapter about his sister, a chapter about his brothers, a chapter about his career.

The chapters about his siblings basically encapsulate the story of the family there. That’s how it all began for me. I was so interested—and it so happened that my grandparents’ love story paralleled mine. I kind of knew that, but didn’t know all the details.

That started me writing essays about various things that had happened, particularly during the Nazi era, which of course makes for drama. Eventually, that whole quest became my memoir Jumping Over Shadows.

In the meantime, I got a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing. Writing became my second career—I used to be in HR consulting, so my earlier years had a totally different trajectory.

My book How to Write Compelling Stories from Family History grew out of my experience writing Jumping Over Shadows. I ended up giving a lot of workshops about taking family history and making it into an interesting story. People started asking if I had materials. That’s how my second book came about—I realized I did have materials, and I turned them into that book.

Visiting the Czech Republic

Host:
One thing that really stood out to me in that book—you made a comment about the Czech Republic. Have you visited more than once?

Annette:
Yes, I’ve been there a number of times. Once I started writing the story, I had to go on research trips. I had lists of things I needed to see—like the cemetery.

Host:
Right. The thing that stood out to me was your advice: make sure you read your notes before you go. You missed climbing some stairs because you didn’t review your notes. That’s powerful advice—be prepared so you don’t miss opportunities.

Annette:
Exactly. On that trip, I went with my sister. I had a certain agenda, like taking pictures. She took a lot of pictures of me in the town—one became the banner on my website. That was our main mission.

She suggested we check out our great-grandparents’ mill in the area. We had a car, so we could get around. I wish I had read my grandmother’s memoirs before we went. She had described some things very explicitly about that place that I missed because I hadn’t reviewed them.

Storytelling and Family History

Host:
Why do you think storytelling is such an important part of family history?

Annette:
Because it’s what gets passed on. A lot of genealogical research—like my aunt does on my mom’s side—is about gathering names, dates, and connections. That’s important, but it’s not what people tell at family gatherings.

People share stories: “I experienced this,” “This happened to me.” If my grandfather hadn’t written down his version of the family story, I wouldn’t have been able to write Jumping Over Shadows.

For me, the heart of family history is in the stories—what a grandparent passes to a grandchild. Not the chronology, but the lived moments.

Stories are also important because we learn from them. For instance, when COVID happened, I wished I could ask my grandmother about the Spanish Flu—but nobody wrote anything down.

That’s why I love teaching people to write stories from family history—turning materials into something that someone could read 50 years from now and learn from.

How to Start Writing a Story

Host:
How would you suggest people start writing a story?

Annette:
The challenge is understanding what a story is. It’s not “this happened, then that happened.” It’s about something meaningful—a transformative event with characters and action.

Ask yourself: Why am I telling this story? Why does it matter?

One of my favorite starting exercises is writing about a family object you’ve kept or inherited. Tell the story: who it belonged to, why you keep it, what it means. It doesn’t have to be a grand event—it’s a way to focus in and reveal family history.

Resources for Getting Started

Host:
Do you have any resources or tools for beginners?

Annette:
Begin with something that interests you—follow your passion. Writing is work, so you need to care about the subject.

You can also start by writing about a particular relative who fascinates you.

Balancing Accuracy and Compelling Writing

Host:
How do you balance accuracy with making your story compelling?

Annette:
Don’t invent anything if you’re writing nonfiction family history. But you don’t need to be obsessive about tiny details.

For example: if you’re writing about your grandmother on a certain day but don’t remember what she wore, think about the type of dresses she owned and put her in one of those. That’s accurate enough.

If you truly don’t know something, be honest and say so—then speculate based on research and character knowledge. Let the reader in. Sometimes that mystery makes the story memorable.

A Favorite Story

Host:
What’s a favorite story of yours to tell?

Annette:
I have one, but it’s a bit of a spoiler in Jumping Over Shadows, so I’ll just say: I discovered a shocking possible reason my great-grandfather committed suicide in 1938 when the Nazis took over. My grandmother never spoke of it. I found a clue in a history book while researching something else, and it was one of those “I didn’t see that coming” moments.

One Piece of Advice

Host:
If you could share one tip or trick with our listeners, what would it be?

Annette:
Two things:

1. Start small. It doesn’t have to be a book—one small story is valuable.
   
   
2. Something is better than nothing. Whatever you write down could be meaningful to someone later.
   
   

Reading other memoirs can also inspire you—you might realize, “I could do that.”

Host:
Annette, thank you so much for your expertise and passion for writing family stories. I’m honored you spent time with me today.

Annette:
Thank you. If we can inspire even one more person to write their story, that’s a success.

Host:
Until next time, friends—embrace the power of family history’s untold tales. Start writing your family stories today at Storied.com.